"If you cannot be the poet be the poem."

-- Unknown 

Words come to mind

But I get tongue-tied.

I try paper and pen.

The ink runs out before I begin.

A poet scared of emotions…

It should be a sin.

Like a dying rose

I’ve wilted too long

My petals have fallen

To the earth, I just can’t

Go on.

The blue skies bypass me

I’m drowning in rain,

Though my thorns still

Sharp enough to cause

You pain.

My roots still connected

But I’m covered with

Weeds. Ugly and alone,

In a place too dark for the

Sun to see.

© 2008 Jennifer L. Brooks

Pills are my meal.

Alcohol my water.

Strange the new normal.

So serene in this inverted world.

Always in a fog.

Don’t care at all.

I no longer hear fear call.

I swallow pill after pill just to feel real.

My days are a maze.

At night I hallucinate.

My mind lazy.

This addiction is holding me hostage.

My body numb.

Irrational mood.

My conduct so lewd.

Have I gone too far? I don’t know what to do.

So much rage!

So, so ill.

Talking crazy.

Need intervention. I’m too weak to save me.

Pills are dulling.

Alcohol drowns.

I’m falling down.

Conflictive addiction. I need that relief, though I know it’ll end in grief.

I want to live again.

Not just exist.

It’s up to me to end this.

© 2011 Jennifer L. Brooks

Trying to get my blog going (it will mostly be my writing and about writing) poetry, short stories, vents, blurbs, quotes and thoughts here and there so I'll be spamming it with new and old writing for a while. I hope you enjoy. :) Just a little background on me. I began writing at the age of 12 as a form of therapy, (I have suffered from anxiety, depression and insomnia all my life and went though some very dark times) hence the “Spill Ink Not Blood” url. I would like to make people realize that there are other ways of dealing with the pain that life can sometimes bring upon them. Reach for a pen, not a knife, pills or alcohol the next time you feel life is getting the best of you and see what you can create. If you find writing isn’t your thing then by all means try something else that will ease the hurt and fill the emptiness in you. As a teenager I wrote several screenplays but I doubt I will ever let any of them see the light of day, I prefer writing poetry and novels anyway. I don't always follow the "rules" of writing, especially when it comes to poetry. When I write a poem I usually do it in several minutes (just raw emotion spills on the page) I don't contemplate every single word, the rhyme scheme etc. as much as I probably should, if I did my poetry would probably be a lot better but I'm full of passion and my thoughts and feelings tend to burst out. I don't think about what I'm writing, I FEEL it. I'm EMOTIVE!