The ocean cannot hold my tears.

God himself cannot calm my fears!

Satan can’t control my rage.

Hell itself cannot contain my pain!

My heart can’t hold the emotions.

Though, my body holds the devotion…

My mind the addiction to be insane!

The universe cannot grasp my thoughts.

The world is too small for my dreams!

My soul too old for my body…

My compassion too great to go unseen!

My love too passionate not to be felt…

My persona too complex too believe.

Sin boils through my veins.

As saints visit me in my dreams.

All of me bursting at the seams…

All of me craving some kind of sanctity…

All of me, all of me! Dying to be redeemed.

© 2010 Jennifer L. Brooks

Pills are my meal.

Alcohol my water.

Strange the new normal.

So serene in this inverted world.

Always in a fog.

Don’t care at all.

I no longer hear fear call.

I swallow pill after pill just to feel real.

My days are a maze.

At night I hallucinate.

My mind lazy.

This addiction is holding me hostage.

My body numb.

Irrational mood.

My conduct so lewd.

Have I gone too far? I don’t know what to do.

So much rage!

So, so ill.

Talking crazy.

Need intervention. I’m too weak to save me.

Pills are dulling.

Alcohol drowns.

I’m falling down.

Conflictive addiction. I need that relief, though I know it’ll end in grief.

I want to live again.

Not just exist.

It’s up to me to end this.

© 2011 Jennifer L. Brooks